**Ocean’s Thirteen Trailer Hits
**Great joy and happiness today! Following the triumphant debut of the Transformers trailer, we were delighted to see the Ocean’s 13 teaser also hit the net late this afternoon. We’d tell you all about the latest glimpse at the adventures of Danny Ocean and his all-star pals, but… we can’t see it. It’s on good old AOL Media Player, you see, and not a single one of us in the Empire office, not a single man, woman or James Dyer, can access it. But we hope it’s good – we spoke to Matt Damon recently and he was heartily recommending it. That’s right, ‘Star in saying own movie is good’ shocker!
**Patrick Stewart On TMNT Voice Duties
**Anyone who’s ever listened to Patrick Stewart’s dulcet tones would know that the man has one of the best voices in the business. Silky smooth and commanding, it’s the sort of voice that really should be put to greater use: Empire’s theory is that if Paddy Stewart’s voice was broadcast to all the terrorists in the world, telling them to put down their arms and instead get together for a grand Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon at his pad, it would mean an instant end to violence. But anyway, we should report that Kevin Munroe, the director of the forthcoming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated film, also believes that Paddy’s voice should be utilised, albeit for a less humanitarian purpose. P-Stew, to give him his hip-hop name, will voice the bad guy, Max Winters, a dastardly type who goes insane and assembles an army of monsters which our heroic sewer dwellers must battle. Make it so! Engage! To me, my X-Men!
**20TH Century Fox Auctions Rare Documents
**No, Uncle Rupert hasn't located the Dead Sea Scrolls. The studio has decided to donate around 200 internal documents and memos – many of them signed by stars of yesteryear, and worth a bleedin' fortune – to raise money for the Motion Picture & Television Fund's insurance division. Among the goodies are a memo indicating that Norma Jean was changing her name to Marilyn, a letter of termination addressed to Judy Garland for turning up to work drunk (less forgiving in those days, Li-Lo?), and a contract stating that Elvis could wear his hair however he saw fit when starring in Love Me Tender. The auction goes ahead on January 25th in New York.
**Chinese Get Hot Under Collar Over Corsets
**It's a sign of the times, though we're not exactly sure of which times it's a sign. Chinese internet users are all aflutter at the tightness of the actress' outfits in Curse Of The Golden Flower, in particular a bodice-type number worn by Gong Li. Of course, if you speak Mandarin, there's a play on words – "golden flower" sounds very similar to "golden corset." Oh, how they laughed.