The 14th February 2020 - just another Friday to some, but the inevitable Valentine’s Day to many, many more. On this day of devotion and passion, the hopeless romantics of the nation rejoice with roses, garish gifts and amorous glances exchanged over cheap Italian two-for-one meal deals.
While these lovesick puppies enjoy the day, there are others who are filled with nothing but cynical displeasure. Headaches are induced from having to ceaselessly roll their eyes at the endless PDAs, cliché cards and social media declarations of love. An aversion to the day of love isn’t exclusive to the single, self-partnered, or recently spurned, even those in happy, healthy relationships can find themselves in a sceptical headspace thanks to the obscene showmanship of it all.
So, what can you do if you're not a fan of old St. V’s day? All of your favourite restaurants are fully booked, and all your friends are on dates, what option do you have? The option to watch a thoroughly anti-Valentine’s Day film, that’s what.
All of the movies in our Sceptic’s Guide take on the topic of love from an alternate angle – they certainly won't be found amongst Empire's top 50 romantic movies and they’re not so interested in the “happily ever after” side of things. Take your pick, pour yourself a glass of wine and prepare to feel thoroughly unromantic.
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Anti-Valentine's Day Films
1 of 13Gone Girl
Love – crazy, stupid love. Well, in the case of Gone Girl, it's certainly the former, but Amy Dunne is far from the latter.Amazon.co.uk
2 of 13Basic Instinct
Isn't a sexual affair meant to be more exciting when there's a little bit of danger involved? If that's true, Detective Nick Curran is in for one hell of a ride with Catherine. Amazon.co.uk
3 of 13The Loved Ones
High school dreamboat Brent declines a prom night invitation from the not particularly laidback Lola Stone. Unfortunately, Stone's father doesn't want his daughter upset, so brings Brent over for a little party of their own…Amazon.co.uk
4 of 13Fatal Attraction
Ah yes, Glenn Close's Alex – the one who won't go away. An iconic tale of sex and obsession which introduced the term "bunny boiler" into the zeitgeist. Amazon.co.uk
5 of 13The War of The Roses
A darkly comic tale charting the glorious adventure of love, right from its passionate beginnings through to its bitter end. You know what they say, "until death does us part". Amazon.co.uk
6 of 13Gerald’s Game
Sexy experimentation gone very, very wrong – a horror film that ultimately expounds the benefits of being as vanilla in the bedroom as possible.Stream now on Netflix
7 of 13Heathers
Teenage love, formed and solidified over the intense hatred of others – what could possibly go wrong with this healthy dynamic? Buy now on Amazon.co.uk, or stream with Prime.
8 of 13Get Out
Meeting the in-laws has always been a dicey process, laced with trepidation and "what if" scenarios – Get Out explores this situation to the nth-degree. Amazon.co.uk
9 of 13Mr. & Mrs. Smith
An action-comedy whose takeaway message seems to be that completely lying about who you are in a marriage is a good thing. Amazon.co.uk
10 of 13Closer
Four people, four intertwined lives. Sure, some of them are in love, but is love really ever enough? Probably not.Amazon.co.uk
11 of 13Taxi Driver
Travis' idea of a good date movie coupled with the way he handles rejection is enough to put anyone off the idea of dating - forever.Amazon.co.uk
12 of 13Vertigo
A true classic and one for the sceptics. The movie explores, in part, the control that lurks behind love with Scottie Ferguson, a man with a penchant for blonde women and obsession.Amazon.co.uk
13 of 13Fifty Shades of Grey
There's nothing more unromantic than a film about bondage that your mum has watched.Amazon.co.uk
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