Three things to do with a PhD:
a) use it for self-improvement;
b) use it for the betterment of mankind; or
c) say bollocks to it all and write a bunch of action movies.
Tough choice, but if youre Robert Mark Kamen, co-screenwriter of The Transporter and proud owner of a PhD in Anthropology, its gotta be c).
Kamens got a nice line in churning out cheap, cheerful, chop-socky movies (first Kiss Of The Dragon, now this) along with writer-producer Luc Besson. And dont get us wrong were grateful. Even if its pretty evident after ten minutes that PhD stands for pretty hokey dialogue. Or is that plot hardly discernible?
No matter. The Transporter exists purely to turn our very own Jason Statham into an action star capable of putting the willies up Vin Diesel. It succeeds admirably.
Post-Ghosts Of Mars, if anyone had suggested that big, bald, brusque Jase could hold his own as an action hero, theyd have been laughed out of town. And while he doesnt exactly deliver an acting masterclass (his American accent doesnt quite stand up to the rigours of actually opening his mouth and talking), this is all about kicking ass and taking names.
And the model-turned-actor is impressive enough athletic, powerful and displaying hitherto unseen martial arts prowess to deserve a crack at bigger things.
Here, though, his character starts out with an intriguing amorality, but quickly becomes Mr. Bog Standard Action Guy, taking on hordes of villains armed at times merely with a sweater and, in one hilarious scene, an oil slick and bike pedals.
If all that improvisational guff sounds very Jackie Chan, thats deliberate. The spirit of Hong Kong action movies hangs heavily over The Transporter, most notably in the CG-free fight scenes which, thanks to former fight choreographer Yuen, have enough zing and originality to satisfy even Hong Kong aficionados. Helpfully, they also take your mind off the nonsense in between, complete with dreadful dialogue from Robert Mark Kamen.
He has a PhD, you know.