Empire would like to take this opportunity to apologise for an error that appeared in issue 128. In our "Five Films We Don't Want To See" feature, we suggested that The Flintstones In Viva Rock Vegas may not be an altogether enjoyable experience. Not only was this ill-informed and prejudicial, it was also incorrect.
Sadly, you see, that doesn't even begin to cover it. Perhaps anticipating such a likelihood, none of the first cast (apart from Rosie O'Donnell as, ahem, an octopus masseuse) return to the fray, instead throwing it open for an all-new ensemble to humiliate themselves. The Full Monty's loveable chump, Addy, is Fred (actually not bad, but no John Goodman), Baldwin (confirming that, yes, The Usual Suspects was indeed a one-off) is embarrassing as Barney and Collins fumbles the cameo slot that Liz Taylor occupied in the first; whilst Johnston (3rd Rock From The Sun's Sally) and Krakowski (the annoying secretary from Ally McBeal) provide little more than window dressing.
Meanwhile, our turgid little plot sees irritating alien Gazoo - you remember, the one that did for the animated series what Scrappy did for Scooby Doo - banished to earth in order to study the mating rituals of its inhabitants. Cue then a monotonous montage of disastrous dating antics, as Fred and Barn head out into the big, wide world in search of their respective partners.
It's predictable (Betty and Wilma attract the seedy intentions of two other would-be suitors). It's clichéd (the course of true love does eventually run smooth). It's misjudged (a buggery gag in a kids' flick?). But what is most staggering is that it took four people to write it - each presumably responsible for one half of the film's two above average one-liners.
Worse than you'd think. And then some.
