Wholesome teenager Nell (Miranda Otto) has more than a few problems : shes a fairly hopeless, but nonetheless hopeful actress/singer ; a dreadful driver; and is receiving psychiatric treatment for an embarassing personal problem; shes so besotted with horses that in times of stress she imagines she is one.
Enter Martin Kemp as Digby a polo-playing, slightly shady showbiz impressario and stud farmer as Nell fails an audition for an under-invested show hes producing, then backs into his very expensive car. What follows isnt entirely obvious (thanks largely to a couple of ludicrous sub-plots involving her working at a hen night strip club and a misplaced jar of horse semen) but plot predictability is equalled only monotoned perfomances, a cringe-worthy script and flat direction.
Perhaps most dreadful of all though is the physical manifestation of Nells horse phases a Monty Pythonesque cantering and head-shaking whinnying meaning the central joke of this apparent comedy expects an audience to laugh at what theyve set up as mental illness.