"I'm your worst nightmare," bleats Devon, Cop And A Half's pint-sized Eddie Murphy. "An eight-year-old with a badge." He isn't kidding. This is the unredeemably yukky tale of a wisecracking pre-teen (newcomer Golden II) obsessed with all things cop, who witnesses a murder but won't cooperate with the police unless they "do a deal" and let him tag along as mini-cop for a day.
Burt Reynolds is the captive officer chained to the brat, but guess what? He loathes juveniles! Sadly for Reynolds, however, the childless, wifeless, lifeless Florida cop he "plays" isn't even a character, rather a scowling circus sideshow with two facial expressions - grumpy and touched - a wardrobe and car left over from Smokey And The Bandit, and a heart, hardened by his partner's death years ago in the line of fire, just waiting to be warmed by a bundle of cuteness.
Questionable "kiddie" moments like Burt threatening to rip off his young charge's limbs might be forgiven if there was a splinter of humour here, but even scenes that would play ideally as goofy and farcical are directed with deadly seriousness. Reynolds' arched eyebrow reaction shot and Golden's sass routine reign supreme under the suspect directing talents of Henry "The Fonz" Winkler, who should be incarcerated for the shameless way he allows Golden to not just steal but heist scenes from a very weary-looking Burt.