Willis To Play JR Ewing?

There are some stories that just scream 'lie' from the minute you read them. The kind of stories that would be made no more believable if delivered ex cathedra by the pope himself or solemnly included in the Queen's Christmas message. Still, it's 4 July and since most of the US is out larging it in celebration of the time they whipped our British arses and not a lot else is going on, we bring you the following story in the hopes of bringing a wee smile to your faces. While you may have suppressed the memory, Eighties staple soap, Dallas, has been reportedly been expecting a Hollywood revival for some time with the Texan oil tycoons and their familial wranglings being reinvented fro modern audiences. Daft to be sure, though not all that implausible. But wait, you haven't heard the best bit. The latest development, according to the Sydney Morning Herald and The Guardian, is that Bruce Willis will take up the Stetson as the notorious JR Ewing, Jessica Lang will take the role of Sue Ellen and Colin Farrell is lined up to play Bobby. Can you honestly imagine? Next thing they'll have drafted Mike Myers as Cliff Barnes, Judi Dench as Ellie Ewing and maybe Sean Connery as Clayton Farlow. Seriously though, if this actually proves to be true we'll eat our twelve-gallon hats.