Practice this simple manoeuvre with Empire, readers: duck and cover. Duck and cover. Duck and cover.
Because, after today’s news that the Wayans Brothers are about to inflict another witless, humourless spoof on an unsuspecting population, duck and cover may be the only thing that can save you in the face of the nuclear apocalypse that’s sure to follow as a result.
That may sound a little harsh, but we’re talking the ‘creative team’ behind such classics as Little Man and White Chicks – can it be any wonder that War, Plague, Famine and Death are rubbing their hands together at the prospect of another Wayans Brothers effort adorning multiplexes everywhere?
Of course, it’s the success of the brothers’ Scary Movie franchise (their two instalments, which kicked the whole thing off, have grossed over $400 million worldwide) that has prompted this latest foray into spoofery.
The brothers – Keenen Ivory (writes, directs, acts), Marlon (acts, writes, produces), and Shawn (does the same as Marlon, except he doesn’t pop up in the odd Aronofsky film) – have decided to next turn their powers of laser-precision satire and sophisticated comedy to the cop genre, with an as-yet untitled movie that’s been set up at Paramount, who will be hoping they can replicate their Scary Movie success by spoofing the likes of – and we’re just guessing here, but it’s an educated guess - Lethal Weapon and Die Hard.
But there is hope on the horizon. Whatever the Brothers come up with can’t be worse than the last movie of this kind, National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1. And there once was a team when the Brothers were good at this sort of thing – their 1980s blaxpolitation spoof, I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, is an under-appreciated gem, while Scary Movie is actually pretty funny for sustained periods. But the rot set in with Scary Movie 2, which was crass and unfunny, while White Chicks and Little Man are unspeakably bad.
Let’s hope the trio can reclaim their early form. Certainly, news that they’ve been working on a cable TV movie, The Life And Times Of Marcus ‘Felony’ Brown for VH1, might indicate that they’re getting their mojo back. Otherwise, like we say… duck and cover, kids. Duck and cover.