Van Damme wins court battle fiasco

It could only happen in Hollywood, but Jean Claude Van Damme won a court case yesterday on the merits of his passionate verbal brilliance. A Los Angeles court ruled in favour of the Muscles from Brussels in a breach of contract suit filed by martial arts guru Frank Dux. Dux claimed that he co-wrote Van Damme's 1996 box-office howler The Quest, and that Van Damme denied him a screen credit and a slice of the profits. Unfortunately for Dux, the jury found it extremely hard to believe that he had lost a tape in which he and Van Damme had an oral agreement about the script. Worse still, Dux said he lost the tape in a, wait for it, massive earthquake and that it was currently lost somewhere "under three tons of concrete". Van Damme, on the other hand, was in full thespian mode. "I want to spend my money on poor children," exclaimed the fading action star, currently filming Universial Soldier 2. Best of all, Dux wanted $900,000 in damages. It's a good job Van Damme won - we're not sure if The Quest even made that much at the cinema . . .