Tron: Legacy Toys Teased

Dear children today: you are lucky, lucky little sons (and daughters) of… your parents. Back in our day, we had to make do with Frisbees and Action Man and balls and sticks and making our own toys out of Blu-Tack and stuff. But we were happy, though we were poor. Now, though, you young scamps get to play with these amazing-looking new Tron: Legacy toys that Disney has just premiered and Collider provides a look at.

Not only do we get light-up action figures with the actors’ faces appearing in the helmets, featuring talking action and fully-adjustable poses, there are computer accessories with the film’s neon style and, as if to make every boy’s dream come true, a Light Cycle that can drive up the wall. Up. The. Motherpussbucket. Wall.

Let that sink in for a second while we make the rather obvious joke that with lots of appropriate sounds, the bikes will not be the only things driven up the wall. Enjoy, parents!

This stuff will hit the shelves in October, so it’s entirely possible that someone will have shot an entire spoof of the movie before it arrives. Meanwhile, that sound you hear is your wallet weeping leathery tears at the prospect of you buying up more plastic tat that really is for people much younger than you.

Tron: Legacy hits cinemas on December 17.

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