Teetotal Tea-Leaf

Being head of security on a film set can't be much of a fun job. Either you're spending the days trying to keep teenage nymphettes away from the leading man's trailer (or possibly purloining them for said trailer), or you're in charge of ensuring that nary a detail of the film's script, plot or cast escapes the set. But sometimes, just sometimes, the thieving bastards that make your life a misery, slip up. That's certainly been the case with Last Orders - the upcoming movie by director Fred Schepisi with an all-star British cast. Set mainly around the local boozer, it probably wasn't a great surprise to security when a crate of beer went missing. But the light-fingered crooks will probably get a surprise when they've downed the contents only to find the beer's about as alcoholic as a can of pop. 'They stole the beer, and boy were they disappointed because it was non-alcoholic,' director Fred Schepisi tells Ananova. 'I have this image of them drinking more and more and getting bloated, but not getting drunk.' Ah, the wages of sin.