Sometimes, life can throw you lovely surprises when you’re out for the count in Nodland.
Take this morning, for example – Empire wakes up, groggily travels to work, grumbles about the Victoria Line, switches on its computer and immediately receives a jolt of pure adrenaline when it reads the following:
Sylvester Stallone has signed on to star in, write and direct action flick The Expendables, co-starring…
And this is where it really gets good…
Jason Statham and Jet Li.
Now, after Stallone’s insanely violent and ludicrously enjoyable Rambo, we’re looking forward to anything the great man does behind the camera, but this seems like it could be enormously enjoyable.
First, there’s the 80s-style premise - a team of mercenaries attempt to overthrow a South American dictator – which seems like Commando meets Predator, with more than a soupcon of Stallone’s own Rambo thrown in for good measure. Not to mention The Dirty Dozen.
Then, there's that great, sleazy, exploitational title, which should tell you about a) the body count and b) the tone of the flick.
But it’s the cast that’s hooked us. Stallone, one of the all-time great tough guys, alongside current Brit action hero The Stath and Li, a martial arts legend? That isn't just action heaven. That is action Valhalla.
The only way this film could get any better is if The Rock or JCVD signed on to play the jungle. Inglourious Basterds, be warned – you have a rival for your ensemble action movie throne.
Filming starts in Costa Rica and Louisiana next February.