Spider-Man Walks Sideways

It seems that our fondest dreams of a bigger role for Bruce Campbell in the Spider-Man films are to be dashed once again, with the news that Sam Raimi has cast Sideways' Thomas Haden Church as his next principal villain. Haden Church, who doesn't have a cleft chin at all, unlike Bruce Campbell, but who does come with an Oscar nominations on his CV, will play an as-yet unnamed villain in the second sequel to the record-breaking franchise. He joins Tobey Maguire, returning as the Man In Tights, and probably Kirsten Dunst as love interest Mary Jane Watson. Sam Raimi, who returns to the director's chair once again, said yesterday, "In addition to the ongoing relationship between Peter Parker and M.J., these films are driven by the great actors who have brought our villains to life. Thomas Haden Church will be a fantastic and challenging new nemesis, and we all look forward to working with him." Raimi refused to say which villain Haden Church will be playing, prompting a flurry of speculation. Fans of THC's (as we will now be calling him) turn in George of the Jungle may lobby for Kraven the Hunter, a white hunter with a black heart who is determined to hang Spidey's head on his wall. Others have noted his remarkable resemblance to the Sandman, who could dissolve into a pile of sand rather than take a punch like a man, dagnabbit! But every Spider-Man villain ever has been mooted somwhere, from the dome-headed Mysterio, to the demonic Hobgoblin, to the bad-tempered Vulture, to fanboy favourite Venom (note, guys: Sam doesn't like him; Haden Church looks nothing like him; it's not going to happen). Internet rumours suggest that female adversary Black Cat may also be joining the crew, creating the awful possibility of a Batman and Robin-style double-whammy of villains. The film isn't due out until 2007, however, so there's plenty of time to find out more about their plans. And where, exactly, the Bruce Campbell cameo will be.