Sort Yourselves Out!

For shame! All of you British lads have, quite frankly, let the side down something terrible and we don't mind telling you so. You'll remember earlier this year, when Gwyneth Paltrow announced her move to London's stage and, coincidentally, an increasing wish to settle down and start a family, we gave all of our male readers the heads-up and bade you break out the breath mints and make an honest woman out of her. Well, it's now more than six months later and what have you done? Absolutely nothing, and poor old Gwyneth's feeling a little neglected. "British people don't seem to ask each other out on dates," she told Now magazine. "If someone asks you out they're really going out on a limb, whereas in America it happens all the time." Indeed, it seems that only two suitors plucked up the courage to wine and dine the lovely miss Paltrow during her time here. Frankly, we think this is disgraceful and you should all give yourselves a good dressing down and pull your collective fingers out before you make British men the laughing stock of the international pulling community. It probably wouldn't do you any harm to take a leaf out of the Americans' books as, according to Gwyneth, they're far more adept at scoring than Blighty's boys. "[In America] someone will come up to you and ask you for dinner and you'll say 'Sure.' It's no big deal and no weight should be attached to it. It's only dinner for God's sake. Yet in Britain mostly what happens seems to be that people meet at work. If there's a little something there then they hang out together and all of a sudden, they're boyfriend and girlfriend." "While the English man beats nervously around the bush, the American suitor goes for the female jugular."