Shallow Youth

It's startling how much great achievements have changed over the years. Thirty years ago, people might have offered feats like saving Europe from the Nazi threat, the development of new vaccines or, slightly more recently, the breathtaking international endeavour that saw hundreds of millions of pounds channelled to help feed the starving in Ethiopia. Now, however, actions worthy of note seem to include kicking a football and, er, starring in Lord of the Rings. A group of psychologists (many of whom may well have since taken their own lives in exasperation) asked more than 2,500 people aged between 16 and 24 to establish which people they most admired above all others. The participants were encouraged to choose anyone they wished, from great political minds, philosophers, philanthropists or religious leaders but - and don't tell us you didn't see this coming - it was a smattering of celebrities who dominated the list. David Beckham headed (oh come on, how is that not funny?) this line-up of 'great men and women', joined by the likes of J-Lo, Orlando Bloom, Britney Spears and - despite the current allegations - Michael Jackson, all of whom made the top ten. Keats, Hawking, Aristotle and the like weren't given so much as a moment's thought, their contributions to society brushed aside by fulsome lips and a bulging six-pack. "It's slightly depressing," Dr Adrian North from the University of Leicester told The Evening Standard. "What links all the names in our top ten is not their great minds but their great looks." Even Jesus found himself shouldered aside by more aesthetically pleasing role models, relegated as he was to 123rd place, tying with George W Bush. "I've absolutely no idea what's happening there," declared a thoroughly depressed North.