Orlando Update

WARNING: Male readers should probably turn back now as much of the following will be lost on you. You love him (boy, do you love him) and the one-man boy-band that is Orlando Bloom will soon provide yet another opportunity for you to gaze in dribbling awe at his implausibly well-proportioned features. Having dropped out of the air a couple of years ago 'Orly' is in just about everything these days and he's now signed on to co-star with Bill Paxton and Gabriel Byrne in Frank E. Flowers' Haven. Paxton and Byrne will play two shady businessmen flee to the Cayman Islands to avoid federal prosecution - as you do. Their escape ignites a chain reaction (somehow, don't ask us for details) that leads a British native, played by Orlando himself, to commit a crime that changes the country. It's all a bit vague really but what do you care? Old Orlando could stand on screen playing with a yo-yo for two hours and you'd likely not notice anything was amiss. Right then, that's about it. We'll just leave you to your (undoubtedly pervy) thoughts.