Michael Jackson To Play Monster-Man

When news that Michael Jackson was to play a freakish monster in his upcoming film reached our ears, the mocking machine that dwells deep within the heart of Empire Towers almost went into meltdown. The sheer enormity of scope for satire, punnage and cruel jibes at the prospect of Jackson terrorising small children as a nightmarish hell-creature almost caused this reporter to have a stroke. But, in a bout of self-control that would put the Dalai Lama to shame, we're not going to take the bait. Don't get us wrong, we at Empire Online like to have a dig as much as the next person, but there's such a thing as professional pride and, to put it plainly, where's the challenge? We simply refuse to be thought of as ones to take pot-shots at a wounded animal, so we're just going to give this to you straight. Michael Jackson will star as a werewolf in Wolfed, which he will also produce. Adapted from The Wolf Leader by Alexandre Dumas, The film follows a man names Thibault, a shoemaker's son in 17th century France. After being nearly beaten to death by a group of aristocrats, Thibault makes a pact with the devil, allowing him to kill anyone he wishes. However, the more evil the act he perpetrates, the more like a wolf he becomes. Rick Baker, the make-up genius behind An American Werewolf in London and Jackson's own Thriller video will be lending his art to bring Jackson's beast-visage to life. There, we could have pointed out that Rick Baker's talents won't strictly be needed to put the frighteners into this movie, or drawn your attention to the fact that, after a transformation that turned the youngest member of the Jackson Five into the gaunt spectre gracing our screens today, a change from man to wolf will hardly pose a challenge. But we didn't. Why? Because we're nice.