Madonna Mauled

The appetite for a certain Mr Lecter's return across the pond has showed no sign of waning during Red Dragon's second week on release. Our Yank cousins have proved themselves still strangely fascinated with the fussiest of fussy eaters to keep Hannibal and friends at the top of the US box office despite some fierce competition. Red Dragon's biggest rival, rom-com Brown Sugar, could only muster a number 3 spot while Michelle Pfeiffer's latest vehicle, White Oleander only made it to number 7. Punch Drunk Love, the new film from Adam 'I'm Serious Really' Sandler did remarkable business after critics applauded his much-needed makeover, but after only opening in five cinemas it could not compete with the fearsome force of Hannibal Lecter. Another limited release met with a different kind of response, however. Madge's fourteenth cinematic venture Swept Away floundered with barely a poor soul rescued. Garnering a startlingly poor $375,000 less than Punch Drunk Love while playing on just 196 screens, Guy Ritchie's cockney golden touch faded away in the glare of the movie's Mediterranean sun to be met with reviews you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Ritchie's tale of a bitchy socialite's affair with a communist sailor is "as awful as you've heard, and as bad as you've imagined," according to the Washington Post and was given an unprecedented zero stars by The New York Daily News. And those were the kind notices. The Daily News went on to say Madge's "overtoned arms are striped with veins and she has back muscles that could cast shadows in afternoon light," while the Los Angeles Weekly said the lighting "emphasises every line and sag." Ouch. Empire Online imagines a larger release might not be on the cards.