Very Large Thieves Sought

What is the world coming to, eh? There was a time when you could leave a four-foot-long door key lying around and be sure that it would be there when you got back. Nowadays though, you can't leave your freakishly large accoutrements anywhere without some bugger coming along and thieving them. This sad truth became painfully clear to the cast and crew of Mike Myers' Dr Seuss adaptation, The Cat In The Hat, when someone half-inched a load of over-sized props from the film's set in Pomona, California. Apart from said key, the booty consisted of a pair of dark blue sunglasses (measuring your average 8 feet across), a four-foot golf tee and a blue golf ball 7 feet in diameter and weighing more than 200 pounds. Police have yet to identify any suspects, though Empire Online would recommend a degree of caution should they find themselves in a position to apprehend the perpetrator. As proficient a crime-fighting force as the Pomona police force undoubtedly is, it's best to employ a certain degree of care when patting down someone who can tee off with a ball the size of a Transit van. Luckily for them, no leads have so far turned up, though some routine enquiries have yielded preliminary results. "We have ruled out the Grinch," said Sgt. Rod Baker.