Who is the super hero? Sarge? No. Rosemary the telephone operator? No way, man! Alex Zamm, the director of Inspector Gadget 2 and Dr Doolittle 5? Well, possibly, if Hong Kong Phooey rescues him from DTV Hell.
For Penry, the mild mannered canine police station janitor and secret Bruce Lee martial arts superhero bungler, is about to star in a live action update, according to Variety.
Hong Kong Phooey, you'll remember, was the number one super guy. He was also quicker than the human eye, had style, a groovy smile and a car that just wouldn't stop. And when the going got tough, he was really rough, with a Hong Kong Phooey chop. And you will now be singing that theme song all day. Chicly bow wow wow. Amazingly, given that it seemed to be playing for our entire childhoods, there were only 16 episodes, all first aired in 1974.
The project is being co-produced by Alcon Entertainment (16 Blocks, Insomnia, Dude, Where's My Car?) and Brett Ratner. But if Ratner and Zamm's pedigrees give you cause for concern, take some heart from the knowledge that the screenplay is by David Goodman, an exec producer on Family Guy.
"Live action" presumably means something along Garfield lines, with Phooey in CGI where everything else (except his stripy cat, Spot, who actually does all the crimestopping) is real. This sounds alarmingly like Turner and Hooch with a digital comedy ninja mutt. As long as he drives a ropey, bouncing Phooey-mobile and transforms in a filing cabinet, there'll at least be some nostalgia value, although the late Scatman Crothers, Phooey's voice and the singer of that theme song, will be sorely missed as a presence.
Actually no, we're trying to be positive, but this just sounds awful, doesn't it? Leave Phooey alone, Hollywood! Leave the summer holiday mornings of our childhoods unsullied, dammit! [Shuts down computer, slams door].