We don’t know about you, readers, but when Empire thinks of All Creatures Great And Small, we think of soothing Sunday evening viewing, of the world’s most famous vet, James Herriott, of Christopher Timothy with his hand stuck up a cow’s arse.
What we don’t think of is a thrilling action adventure in which the world is ruled by animals, with human beings strictly in the majority. But that could all be about to change, if Sony and producer Neal H. Moritz have their way.
Moritz has enlisted the services of Michael Brandt and Derek Haas, the so-hot-right-now writing team behind the deliciously deranged Wanted, to write All Creatures Great And Small, which seems equally bonkers.
“Because of people's inability to quench their thirst for oil and consumption of resources, we basically ruin the planet, and the planet fights back," Brandt told The Hollywood Reporter. "And part of that is the quick evolution of many of the animals."
Of course, we’re not talking marmosets and red pandas here. "It's not like dogs and cats are killing people, it's that the strong have survived,” added Haas. “Lions and bears and animals like that have all evolved, and they're slowly eating away at the human population."
Which, rather sensibly, has retreated into forts for safety’s sake.
The movie, which came about as a result of a brainstorming session between Haas, Brandt and Moritz (who previously employed them on 2 Fast 2 Furious), is described as being in the vein of Jurassic Park. Mighty big shoes to fill, but we’ll keep an eye on this one, even though it’s early days yet, with no director attached.
But we'll say this now: if there isn't an action set-piece involving a cow's arse, we'll be sorely disappointed. Hang on, that came out wrong...