Has your life seemed dull, drab and empty? Do you find that food lacks flavour, flowers lack colour and birdsong isn’t quite as sweet as it once was? Don’t worry – scientists have traced this back to the absence of Cher from the big screen. Luckily, help is at hand – for she’s back back back!
The Oscar-winning actress, whose last movie was the Farrelly Brothers’ comedy, Stuck On You, waaaaay back in 2003, has signed on to star alongside Christina Aguilera in a new musical called Burlesque. And now the world can truly be happy again.
Cher – who’s currently knocking them dead in Vegas – will play Tess, a former dancer who runs a neo-burlesque club on Sunset Boulevard. When a young girl (Aguilera), equipped with a big voice, a heart of gold and boobs big enough to house several starving families walks into her bar, Tess gives her a job and a chance to be the best she can be! Yes!
The movie will mark a couple of milestones in the careers of its leads – it’s Aguilera’s first on-screen acting gig, while it’s also the first time that Cher will have actually sung on screen in a movie (Mermaids' The Shoop Shoop Song doesn’t count, fact fans!). Let’s hope she uses that cool Vocoder thing from Believe…
Steven Antin will direct the movie from his own script, with Susannah Grant giving it a polish of grrrrl power. Screen Gems is picking up the cheques for this one, with filming scheduled to start in November.