If you’re a parent, or have nieces and nephews in your life, as Empire does, then chances are you’ll have encountered the wailing, shimmying monstrosity that is the inexplicably popular Disney TV movie franchise, High School Musical.
A Ronseal idea if ever there was one – it’s a musical set in a high school – the first two instalments launched a million bedspreads, lunch boxes, and parental ear plugs. Oh, and the careers of its leads, the elfin Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens.
Yet, rather than move onto bigger and better things – although Efron does have the comedy, 17, on his slate – the duo (who are also a real-life couple, last time we could be bothered to check) have decided to typecast themselves once and for all by returning for High School Musical 3: Senior Year, which starts filming in Spring.
So, why are we telling you this, when the first two episodes were TV movies? Well, in accordance with the Book of Revelations, and instructions written by the Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse, High School Musical 3 will be inflicted, sorry, released in cinemas.
Efron and Hudgens aren’t alone in returning, though. Cast regulars including Monique Coleman and Ashley Tisdale will also come back for a third helping, while director Kenny Ortega and writer Peter Barssochini are also back back back.
And the plot? Well, this time Troy (Efron) and his squeeze, Gabriella (Hudgens) are going to college. However, they’re going to different colleges. Will they be able to cope with being apart? What about the demands of college – the partying, the drugs, the wild sex? Well, no problem is insurmountable as long as you can stage a theatrical show about your hopes, fears and experiences – which is exactly what Troy, Gabriella and the rest of the Wildcats do.
May God have mercy on our souls.
High School Musical 3: Senior Year will be released into the atmosphere in the States on October 24. It might take some time to spread over here. Let’s hope we’ve got enough time to mount a suitable defence.