Ah, Christmas. It’s a time of good food, glad tidings, and…erm… Grinch horror parody movies? Yes, new festive slasher The Mean One, clearly taking inspiration from Dr. Seuss’s iconic Christmas-hating recluse, shared a trailer this week – and given it’s the season for gifts (and our Twitter Advent Calendar is in full swing), Team Empire couldn’t resist gathering for a special, bonus, online-only edition of Trailer Talk. Watch the trailer below, and read our unfiltered, uncensored, uncompromising reactions…
John Nugent (Reviews Editor): What is The Mean One? Is the Grinch out of copyright or something? Is this like a Winnie The Pooh: Blood And Honey thing?
Sophie Butcher (Social Media Editor): It looks like the filmmakers can't use the original version, it's still under copyright. Maybe that's why they don't ever actually mention 'The Grinch'. It's also set in Newville, not Whoville, and the lead character is called Cindy You-Know-Who, rather than Cindy-Lou Who. So it's not Blood And Honey, they're just working around it.
Ben Travis (Deputy Online Editor): It’s a pure exercise in how close you can get to the real thing without infringing on copyright – the movie equivalent of Lidl packaging. He’s not The Grinch, let’s call him The Gronch.
Mike Cathro (Deputy Art Director): It's like Colin The Caterpillar all over again!
Ben: What's everyone's relationship with The Grinch? He's scary enough anyway. The Jim Carrey one is terrifying.
Sophie: He's ripe for horror, isn't he? With his weird manner and his long creepy fingers.
John: I didn't grow up watching or reading Dr Seuss. I'm not scared of The Grinch! Bring it on!
Sophie: There we go, Cindy You-Know-Who. Any relation to Voldemort?
John: After the Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 3 trailer, I'm really hoping we see another child get lamped in the face.
James Dyer (Online Editor): Oh he really looks like the Jim Carrey Grinch.
Ben: They've tried to horror-ise him, but there's not much more you have to do to the Jim Carrey Grinch to make him full-on nightmare fuel.
Mike: It looks like they've dug out Carrey's costume that's been lying in his garage for 20 years and shoved it on this poor bloke.
Mike: Okay, that drawing's pretty terrifying.
John: They got the precinct's top artists on this one.
Sophie: That's scarier than the actual Grinch, I think.
James: Was that an arrow or a poker? Wait, is it a candy cane?
Sophie: Is that an eyeball on the end?!
Mike: It is!
Ben: 2022 is becoming the year of people being impaled by candy canes. Between this and Violent Night, we're one away from a Trend Report!
Sophie: I think there's going to be a lot of Christmas-related weaponry.
Ben: There's a level of grime to that costume, isn’t there.
James: He has strong Winthorpe at the Christmas party in Trading Places vibes.
John: He looks a bit like a member of the furry community who's gone off the rails.
James: That looks like a Christmas sex party. Why are they all Santas, and then there’s just one elf?
Sophie: Shouldn't it be the other way around?
Ben: We don't have to do that for our Christmas party do we?
Sophie: Let’s hope not.
Ben: Is this trailer just a succession of more and more people trying to draw the Grinch?
Sophie: It has upgraded. It's gotten better.
Mike: I was thinking Cindy drew both, one as a kid and then one as an adult. It looks as though it's improved slightly.
Ben: Mike, would you hire her to illustrate an Empire subscriber's cover?
Mike: ...never say never.
James: Is that a festive Lucille from The Walking Dead?? A baseball bat wrapped in fairy lights?
Sophie: A festive Harley Quinn.
James: It says it’s, "The movie they don't want you to see."
Sophie: This confuses me. Who's "they"?
John: The lawyers representing Dr. Seuss? Or just people who've seen the film and think it's not very good?
John: This is the best bit. This is my favourite shot in the trailer.
Sophie: Is this a candy cane gun?
John: It's a candy cane shotgun which she does a big reload with, which is just ridiculous in the best way.
Ben: She has candy cane grenades strapped to her chest as well.
John: They're missing a trick with grenade baubles. That's what I want to see.
Mike: Or some tinsel barbed wire.
Ben: Maybe the shotgun shoots delicious, rock-hard Lindt chocolate balls?
Sophie: That would be a waste. They’re so nice.
James: Maybe they'll break out a turkey baster for some kind of violent death.
John: Hot oil in the face.
Sophie: I wonder if they do anything with his heart growing three sizes? Maybe his heart will explode?
James: Yeah, maybe he gets stabbed in the heart with a baster, filled with turkey juice and then explodes. I don't know.
Sophie: There are no bad ideas. Except maybe all the ones mentioned here.