The 25 best quotes of 2015

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by Emma Thrower |
Published on

2015 has been a treasure trove of comedy quotes. From Jason Statham to John Cena via Ant-Man and While We're Young, cinemas certainly haven't been short on laughs. Lighter moments were also found in the darkest of subject matters: hello Sicario and Me And Earl And The Dying Girl. Hand-picking the year's standout lines is a daunting task, but we've given it our best shot. Here's 25 of our favourites.

Rick Ford (Jason Statham) - Spy

Jason Statham: comic genius? As those of you who have seen Spy will attest, the answer is a resounding 'yes'. As for his best line? With talk of passing for Barack Obama and reattaching his own arm, quite frankly we were spoilt for choice.

Hammond (Pierce Brosnan) - No Escape

Hammond lays down some hurt as Pierce Brosnan and Owen Wilson team up for what is, essentially, The Raid Part III.

Josh (Ben Stiller) - While We're Young

Poor Ben Stiller and Naomi Watts. Lured by the pipe dreams and vegan ice creams of uber-cool couple Adam Driver and Amanda Seyfried, the older pair soon discover they can't quite keep up. Bless.

Captain America (Chris Evans) - Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Steve Rogers tells the members of The Avengers 2.0 that quitting is not an option in the MCU.

Lt. Det. Christian F. "Bigfoot" Bjornsen (Josh Brolin) - Inherent Vice

Bigfoot Bjornsen is a man who knows what he wants for breakfast - eggs, milk, butter and a healthy dollop of authority.

Kate Macer (Emily Blunt) - Sicario

One of Sicario's more intense moments (the film is chock-full of them) saw Jon Bernthal take a fancy to Ms. Blunt before trying to choke the life out of her. Not your average date, then.

Ronnie Kray (Tom Hardy) - Legend

Tom Hardy and, erm, Tom Hardy square up multiple times during Brian Helgeland's Legend. But this quote from Ronnie may just be the best line shared between the twins during their epic bar brawl.

Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) - Fast & Furious 7

Busting out of his cast. Taking on The Stath. Bringing down a helicopter. Has there been a more GIF-worthy performance this year? We need a Dwayne Johnson Fast & Furious spin-off, pronto.

Carol Aird (Cate Blanchett) - Carol

Carol isn't heavy on laughs, but Blanchett's character managed to find a little space for comedy as her nicotine supply runs dry.

Dale (Gregg Turkington) - Ant-Man

On Cinema's Gregg Turkington delivered one of the year's greatest lines, inspiring more memes than you could shake an ant-sized stick at.

Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith) - Magic Mike XXL

This stripper sequel wasn't just about the men. Oh no. Jada Pinkett Smith strut her hour across the stage, keeping the boys in check and the girls in a constant state of delirium.

Mike Shiner (Edward Norton) - Birdman

When not fighting in his underpants, Mike Shiner could always be counted on to pluck an obscure, pretentious quote out of the air.

Fletcher (J.K. Simmons) - Whiplash

Undoubtedly the most-quoted line of 2015. We'd congratulate J.K. Simmons, but apparently there are no two words in the English language more harmful than 'good job'.

Steven (John Cena) - Trainwreck

Steven and The Stath's Rick Ford for True Detective Season 3, please.

Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) - Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Away from the comforts of Home Farm Hawkeye, not a lot made sense for Clint Barton in downtown Sokovia.

M (Ralph Fiennes) - Spectre

Though slightly undermined by the few words that followed, Ralph Fiennes got one of the year's plum lines in this takedown of Andrew Scott's shady Max 'C' Denbigh.

Nathan (Oscar Isaac) - Ex Machina

Though Nathan's motives are questionable, the man's got some serious moves.

Steve Wozniak (Seth Rogen) - Steve Jobs

One of the year's snappiest, wittiest screenplays saw Rogen venture into bittersweet territory as the rightfully ticked off Woz.

Anger (Lewis Black) - Inside Out

You don't mess with a man's pizza.

The Vision (Paul Bettany) - Avengers: Age Of Ultron

Possessing the Mind Stone and a flair for comic timing, Paul Bettany proved himself oh-so-worthy as The Vision.

Harry Hart (Colin Firth) - Kingsman: The Secret Service

Colin Firth took it to church with this line before taking out an entire congregation to Lynyrd Skynyrd's Free Bird.

Mark Watney (Matt Damon) - The Martian

Taking a leaf out of Jesse Pinkman's book, the abandoned Watney realised that, when all else fails, you turn to science.

Dave (Ben Mendelsohn) - Lost River

Ben Mendelsohn does what Ben Mendelsohn does best. Ben Mendelsohn goes crazy.

Earl (RJ Cyler) - Me And Earl And The Dying Girl

When not talking about "dem titties", Earl liked to get philosophical.

Frank (John Goodman) - The Gambler

Part of a much larger, no-one-else-could-deliver-this-but-John-Goodman monologue that we'd be stupid not to indulge:

“You get up two and a half million dollars, any asshole in the world knows what to do: you get a house with a 25 year roof, an indestructible Jap-economy shitbox, you put the rest into the system at three to five percent to pay your taxes and that's your base, get me? That's your fortress of fucking solitude. That puts you, for the rest of your life, at a level of fuck you. Somebody wants you to do something: fuck you. Boss pisses you off: fuck you. Own your house. Have a couple bucks in the bank. Don't drink. That's all I have to say to anybody on any social level. Did your grandfather take risks? I guarantee he did it from a position of fuck you. A wise man's life is based around fuck you. The United States of America is based on fuck you. You have a navy? Greatest army in the history of mankind? Fuck you. Blow me. We'll fuck it up ourselves.”

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